Geology, Sep 18

Once upon a time, there was a cat named Caleb. Caleb was the dumbest cat in all the land. He was so dumb, everyone died. The end.
HEY CALEB:

It smells. It smells. Does it, by any chance, smell?
OHMYGOD THIS IS DOCUMENT NUMBER 69 THIS IS CAUSE FOR A CELEBRATION
LET’S CELEBRATE WITH A PICTURE OF JEREMY RENNER’S ASS

The speed limit is “almost reasonable?” Sounds legit
Someone just walked in. You may as well call them pregnant because THEY ARE LATE
Chuck C. Cheese? He’s saying Chuck E. Cheese wrong
OHMYGOD Shell has the funniest ads

We’ll investigate that. Are we the Mystery Team now?
Indonesia is essentially a volcanic orgy
Why would anyone live in Indonesia Southeast Asia?
Russia found a huge diamond in Siberia, trillions of karats. I suppose the universe liked earth, so they put a ring on it?
Chunnel= Channel Tunnel (We learn new things every day here in Geology)
Caleb is laughing at my tweets. Probably because I’m a hilarious motherfucker.
Oh shit he’s been talking for like ten minutes and I haven’t paid attention at all… oh well
There are three people in the row in front of me, all sleeping the exact same way
What little angels
Doc Brown is married? Well damn. My plans are RUINED
NEPA ’69 sounds like a really weird sex act
I’m so glad I’m taking a class that will help me so much in my career. Everyone knows how much English majors need Geology.
Oh man
I just want to take a nap and maybe write a novel
I don’t care about the garbage truck that smelled better than the water
I just did the entire take home quiz in less than a minute. Didn’t read a single question. FUCK YEAH MOTHERFUCKER
Fiscal weathering does not alter the chemicals or minerals in lafajsdflkjalfkj?
Fiscal
Lols
I can draw cubes like that too
I bet mine are better than yours
I draw cubes like a boss
“Hey, I didn’t sign up to take mathematics!”
cm2 FUCK YEAH
I know shit
I got a D in pre-cal. I passed
I love when people get up and leave in this class. I enjoy seeing people living the dream
I should start eating breakfast
And sleeping
It might be helpful
He’s doing math problems. I quit college
I quit band
I quit life
In the springtime, the highways get potholes. The back roads, though, get small canyons
Caleb, what are you giggling about?
I’m pretty sure Caleb and Ashland are the only ones who read this.
So… Hello, Ashland. I like your shirt. You look nice today. Baby.
To anyone else reading this: you look pretty today. Your parents love you. I love you. I like the bedspread you have. *deep breathing* At night, when you’re asleep, I like to sit in your car… breathe your air… pretend I’m you
That last part was for Ashland. Just Ashland. *wink*
Things are getting pretty crazy on Document 69

Bowties are cool
The ‘apocalypse’ situation? Wait what
What is he even talking about
First math, now chemistry? I could’ve stayed in high school for this bullshit
Someone just yawned and it sounded like a kazoo
Wait it’s snoring. But it sounds like a kazoo
Someone woke him up, it’s ok
What a bitch
If The Doctor showed up right now and said I could go anywhere in time and space, I would literally just go to fifteen minutes from now so I could be out of this class
I’d probably also go home. But whatever
I wish I was back in Texas, barbeque and pecan pie
I wanna go hooooooooooome
He’s still talking but no one is listening
I think I want to write a movie. Totally unrelated, but still true
Hydrolysis? The splitting of water! I did learn something in AP bio!
Analysis: the splitting of butts
Look at me, splitting words and knowing meanings. Just call me Piers
A ‘polar liquid’ what the icecaps will be soon
That hand motion he just did makes me very uncomfortable
I’m just very uncomfortable today
I really just want to watch Thor, eat something, and take a nice six-day nap
Kristina is literally watching Disney videos
Maddie’s looking at cat jewelry and food
Caleb and I have been tweeting
Half the class is asleep
I’m ready for some Taziki’s
Oh boy we’re getting back into Feldspars
Apparently all the feldspars have aluminum
Did you know: the Brits say aluminum like ‘al-ew-minium?’

They say ‘oh yeah, now I see where this is headed’

Is he talking about hornets now?
No, he’s teaching us the alphabet
I’m going to get off now. Perhaps nap for the last few minutes. Whatever